The Christmas letter
Honesty and there's a time for everything
If you received our Christmas card and letter this year, I apologize.
Our Christmas letter read like a Facebook post, only the best side of our life, none of the ugliness or challenges. After sending out the 70 cards and letters, we sat down to powwow about what we were really trying to achieve with the annual communication.
Our first card and letter went out 24 years ago, when we were first married. It was fun, it felt grown-up. Then the little guy came, and there was so much to share about his first steps, his school adventures, failed attempts at soccer and his love for cooking. All of our friends were doing the same. Every year, we received cards with smiling faces and watched as kids grew taller and older.
Now, the child has moved out and is starting his own life. He still allows us a family photo, which is always goofy, but that is who we are but what to share in our letter? A little bit about him, tales of our travels and visits and the annual update on the dogs. There is a lot we leave out.
For example, this year, we are both feeling our middle-aged bodies. We both had knee accidents this year, the big guy in a bathroom in Porto, and me on some marble stairs on the way to see a bible. These accidents left us both incapacitated for a while. I’ve been sick for weeks this winter, and the big guy suffered with nighttime breathing issues all year long.
Then there is the emotional weariness. It was hard having the little guy in DC for five months just as the National Guard arrived. Every day, I wanted to cry while reading the paper. I have friends who are really struggling. And then there is Rudy, who for the last two weeks has been on death’s door. It will be really hard to eventually lose the obnoxious chihuahua who came into our lives 16 years ago. But, is this really stuff for a Christmas letter? I think not, it’s the stuff you share with good friends over the phone, or a glass of wine.
Next year, we will send out our 25th and last Christmas letter. It will be our 25th wedding anniversary, I will turn 60, and the little guy will graduate. It will be time to call it a day. Those people who are on our list, we will try to communicate with them in a more meaningful way than sending out a note in the mail.
I believe that we are not alone; I think people are sending out fewer cards. Understandably, it’s very time-consuming and expensive. We spend several hundred dollars every year mailing our photo cards from Switzerland. Since we only get about 10 a year, from the same people every year, we think everyone else has the same thought.
It’s a bit sad. I really loved getting Christmas cards. There’s the excitement of finding something with a handwritten address in the mail, then opening it up. The cards all get taped onto the kitchen door, bringing some cheer to the room. I read that digital cards and texts have replaced cards. More environmentally friendly and efficient, I guess. Times change.
For you, dear reader, thank you for being here. I appreciate you following me in my writing adventure. I wish you and your families the best of holidays, and I look forward to communicating with you in the New Year.
What I’m reading:
The Impossible Fortune by Richard Osmon
This is the fifth installment of the Thursday Murder Club, and it’s as good as all the others. I’m a sucker for a mystery, but I love this series because it is really about community. A group of people, from different backgrounds, living in a posh retirement community, get together to solve murders. They support each other, look out for each other and work together. It’s really how you would want your 70’s & 80’s to look like. The dialogue is witty, and the descriptions of Joyce’s cakes are to die for.
What I’m cooking:
Make Ahead Mashed Potatoes - Thanksgiving is the ultimate cooking organizational challenge. How do you get everything ready at the same time? I’m always looking for things I can get ready ahead of time, and these mashed potatoes are delicious and easy. You can get them ready several hours ahead of time, then you pour warm milk infused with garlic on top and cover them. They stay moist and when it’s time to serve, you just mix it all up and heat it for five minutes on the stove!
Christine - I feel so seen by this post. You are so real. And I am exhausted by the Facebook/Christmas card version of life. It is so much more meaningful to have real connections with real, non-performing humans — people with bad knees and sleep problems, as well as joyful moments. I can’t thank you enough. Happiest of holidays to you and your guys. Xo